Shit Wars : Knights of the New Republic

There is no emotion, there is peace.

There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.

There is no passion, there is serenity.

There is no chaos, there is harmony.

There is no death, there is The Force.




-----After a nong nong time-----




There is an addition to The Code:

There can be death lah actually, when there are females.




Let me tell you a story about a not so long time ago in a galaxy that is the one we are in now ah, not far far away that one ah, there is one Shithead by the name of Juhani and her Shithead Master, Master Shithead Quatra. Shithead Juhani belongs to the species known famously as Females. The Female species is known throughout the galaxy for their supreme play-hard-to-get tactics in relationships, wonderful command of Men's flow of money at their advantage and Damn Fluctuating and uncontrollable emotions. Juhani and her master are both members of The Cock-Up. One fateful day, while Master Shithead Quatra and Juhani were having a training session, in a moment of craziness and frenzy, Juhani striked at her master leaving her critically injured. Shocked at what she had done, Juhani became very guilty and as time passes, her guilt turned to ignorance under the influence of the Dark side. The Cock-Up despatched Shithead Zion to bring Juhani back to the Light. However, it seems that Shithead Zion, was made a real damn bloody Shithead in the end.....




Juhani : Who are you, what do you want, I have nothing to do with you.

Zion : I am Zion, I am here to help you.

Juhani : HA!!! HHHhhhhhooooooo! You want to help me?!? You sure not??!!?? Hahahahaha!!!

Zion : Juhani, I am here to help you, I care about you.

Juhani : F**k off lah, I don't need your care. I have some other people to care for me. Who are you?!? LOL!!! Look at you!!! Wahahahaha!! HHHhhhhooooo!!!

Zion : ...

Juhani : Don't care about me. I was too impulsive to strike at Master Shithead Quatra. I couldn't control my emotions because I didn't trust her. I was too naive to have thought that she was giving me less than the best she could and was witholding things from me. I was once naive. Leave me alone.

Zion : It's ok Juhani. I was once naive too.

Juhani : Would you do me a favour?

Zion : My pleasure =)

Juhani : Don't copy what I say lei...

Zion : ...I think this must be a misunderstanding...but it's ok...I will have it your way then...I change..

Juhani : Since I didn't exactly say what it was and that you've removed the phrase on your own accord, it's pretty obvious there's no misunderstanding at all. Thank you.

Zion : Er.....??.....ok.




Alright Zion says:


Nono not that Shithead Zion...it's Zion...Although I am quite a Shithead myself lah but anyway...

OK


Zion says:
Please lah, people care for you you ignore people nvm lah still say nasty things at people. People care for you then go and find you, talk to you, get involved with you and spend their time on you. You think Zion...er I mean Shithead Zion...so free arh. You think he got go spend his time go and talk C**k and get involed with any Tommy Dicky or Harry Pussy?? Yes? No?!?..........Talk C**k. You also don't know yes or no so don't tell me yes or no. Anyway, then when people say he was once naive you also have to go and give your sarcastic comments. People say he once naive means he copy you...huh?!? K Fine misunderstanding nvm, you not happy people change suit your way, he go and change loh. Change already still want to sarcastic somemore say you didn't say what the phrase was and since he change on his own accord so obviously there's no misunderstanding. Wah...very the obvious hor. Means he purposely copy you one lah?!? Sial lah...you best lah well done lah. Even the porkchop chickenchop karatechop steak also not as well done as you lah. It's sooooo Obvious that the phrase was 'I was once naive' lah! What other phrases were there in what he said?!? It could only be that one that you were refering to man! Also, on his own accord?!? Wah...you really very the best the well done lah. Your definition of on his own accord is quite the wierd leh. You already say ask him to stop using your content as his already still say on his own accord? People nice listen to you change for you then you still like that sarcastic him. Aiya nvm lah up to you lah. You happy then good for you lah ok.


No wonder The Code says 'There can be death lah actually, when there are females'.


不死都会给女人气死啦！




Oh yah forgot one thing, may The Force be with you lah...

Actually I also don't know whether he wants to be with you or not....up to him lah...he happy also then good lah...haha...whatever lah......er wait....The Force should be 'it' right?....aiyah whatever lah 'her' I also don't care lah...be with you happy happy together happily ever after lah hor...Byebye!

HHHHhhhhhhooooooooo!!!

In this world, there are 2 kinds of people. Winners and Losers. You might disagree with me but it's ok because I don't give a F**k about that because I'm right. Everybody wants to hear stories about Winners. Now let me tell you a story about a Loser, all about the Loser.




One day, Loser was just doing the things he do in the way he does. Everything was just like it should be every other day. Suddenly, on this fateful day, a bunch of Winners came upon Loser and decided that they should do something.




W1 : You S**k lah...you cannot find gf then you jealous then talk C**k about us females.

W2 : You loser lah. Disgrace to men you know. What the F**k is wrong with you man? Men should give their C**ks for women. We should serve them like dogs man! Our money is their money, of course we should spend on them! This is Love. Serving them like a dog is called being a Gentleman, being a GUY. I'm a GUY. So don't call me a GAY. You are a disgrace to me. You are a loser.

L : Ooooohhhhhh.....Pai seh arh...I didn't know....thanks ah....GAY=)...Good luck with serving women like a dog. Good luck with splurging your money on them. Good luck with your Love. Good luck with being such a Gentleman. Good luck GAY=)

W3 : You are such a loser. Talk so much for what. Why don't you give your C**k lah. You F**king loser.

L : Why would I want to give my C**k away? Helllo??? Are you reading my blog??!!?? Are you blind?? Yooooohoooooooo???!!!??? How many is this? ..l..

W3 : Er...

L : Er..Er KI LA*.....It means F**K YOU UNDERSTAND!.....HHHhhhhhhhoooooooo!!!

W4 : You are a disgrace to mankind lah. YOUR interpretation of the bible is crap. You confirm screw-up your literature big time man. And may God bless YOU for using his name.

L : My interpretation of the bible? Can you find anywhere in my blog that said that I was interpreting the bible? Did I say that I was telling you about the bible? Assume...yada yada yada. Why not then you assume that you are a women, if you are not already one. Then you assume that I'm a man. Then you assume that I smack your pathetic face to wake up your F**king idea. Go back to school man! Go F**k your literature! And may God bless YOU for using MY name in your name.




Sometimes Love just ain't enough. How true is that.

Many a times people need more than a F**king slap to wake up their F**king idea.


People get upset and offended when they read the criticisms about women. They feel that there are much more screwed-up Men. Women get upset because they think they are so damn such a High-Being. They only like guys who are GentleMan. Pulls out the seat whenever they want to sit down. Attend to every door. Pay for every F**king little thing. That is being GentleMan. That is Love. That is being a MAN. Only the guy who tries hard enough and is worthy will get them.. ..l..

Men get offended because they think that I'm challening their norm of being a C**k. They think that as a Man, he should be a gentleman. A gentleman should fulfill everything that's said above. Looks like when I blogged about women, I missed out on men.

Men go to such lengths to please women for what? For Love? What is Love? To have sex with her? So that is your definition of being a Gentleman?

Ouch.. Ouch.......Yes yes I know I hit the bull's eye in your heart but let me finish....it ain't no hurting enough yet=)....anyway...

Love. You can tell me the bullshit about love is not just about sex and everything. Don't look at pornography then gentlmen. Don't have lustful thoughts about women. When you first see a woman, do you see and say 'Wah that woman is such a nice person...althought she's damn ugly and fat but I want her to be my gf or wife because she's such a nice person or do you say 'I want her to be my gf because she is pretty'? Don't go to clubs. Go to clubs for what? Enlarge your social circle lah? To make more friends lah? To meet other fellow GentleMen like you lah? ..l.. Don't have sex with your gf then. Don't have sex with your wife then. Don't even have any sexual thoughts about your gf or wife. Don't get intimate with them. Get so intimate for what? Huh? HUH?!? ..l..

All you people trying to tell me what is a Gentleman supposed to be and how I'm not one. Well let me tell you what a Gentleman is NOT supposed to be then. Gentlemen don't post comments on blogs using a stupid name. Gentlemen identify themselves when they want to speak. Gentlemen know when to speak and when not to speak. Gentlemen know better than to disturb someone they don't know, or someone who doesn't know nor care about them.

Wait wait......huh?....Huh?!?...what?..what you say? Louder?

Oh so now you say am I not as screwed-up as you all are? Am I not as imperfect as any man is?

Did I ever say that I'm not screwed up? Did I ever claim to be perfect?

So now if you think you are half that better than me, that more gentleman than me.....don't even bother to think again.....because your minds are already set in that kind of mentality that ain't no shit can go inside nor stay inside. Don't come and criticise me when you don't even have any reason to talk to me.

To all the 'GentleMen' out there, I give you my blessings. May your C**k bless you.




I salute you. ..l..

您在看我吗?

身为一个表演者，脸上的表情非常地重要。喜，怒，哀，乐。 这些感情，对表演者来说，用脸来表达是最容易的。通过脸部上的表情，观众也最容易了解表演者在表演的情绪。

一个表演者的最高境界，就是戴着面具表演。没戴面具时，表演者表达情绪时易如反掌。一个微笑，一个皱眉，观众都能看到也能明白。一戴上面具，表演者的脸，看不见了。脸上的表情，也看不见了。这时，就要考表演者的功力了。所有的情绪已不能够用脸来表达。现在表演者只能用肢体动作来表达思想、感受与情绪。


一个表演者的最高境界就是把面具变成他的脸。观众看不见他的脸。不管脸上是什么表情，观众能看到的只是面具。现在观众不只看不出心里的感触，连脸上都看不到任何的表情。如表达得好，观众能看得出其中的感情。看不出来，也只能猜。猜不出，除非他告诉你，不然你一辈子可能都不会知道。他的心，更像无边的宇宙，怎么猜也猜不透。






但是我觉得，把面具变成脸没有什么了不起。我认为，真正至高无上的境界，不是把面具变成脸，而是把脸变成面具。




您。。。在看我吗？


我？您在看的。。。是我？









您在看我吗？

Rush To Wait...Wait To Rush

Yesterday, my friend and I were taking a stroll along Clarke Quay when we reached this traffic junction. We were glad that the lights turned green for us just when we reached it but when we were about to step out onto the road, we saw something..........




Me : We just have to cross the next road and we'll be near to Clarke Quay.

MF : Come, let's go...the lights have turned green for us.

Me : Cool..........wait wait wait...look.....

MF : Ya.....I saw...

Me : What the f**k do you think he was trying to do..?...


We were about to step out onto the road when we saw this taxi driver advancing his vehicle. He looked as if he was trying to drive off his vehicle when the lights were still red. The lights for us were still green and still then. He started to reverse his vehicle back to the designated stopping line when we started to cross the road. I had no idea what the driver was trying to do but I decided to walk even slower across the road and took the full green-man time.


Me : Let's walk slower, shall we =D?

MF : Of course, it's still the greeeeeeen-man.

Me : Such a pity, if I had a placard with me, I would have carried it with me while crossing, with the words : ' To all you F**king drivers who can't F**king see the F**king lights, IT IS STILL GREEN FOR ME!!!!!' I will take the card with me and parade in front of the driver until my time is almost up.

MF : Sounds cool to me.

Me : It definitely is.




Zion Says :
All you drivers out there you better wake up your F**king idea. Especially taxi drivers, you make me Du La*, I'll make sure I complain you until jia lat jia lat. You are driving a taxi, not a red ferrari. You think you who, Michael Schumacher arh? Don't know what the F**k you rushing for you know. You rush rush rush then later you go Long one Suay Kia then his kids become fatherless. Then because of that the mother has to become a taxi driver also. KNN C***B** because of you you know. You all better F**king STOP at zebra crossings. Even if you don't stop just slow down lah. CCB everytime I cross zebra crossing you all must fight with me. Don't even slow down don't even stop. All you drivers better watch out you know, taking down vehicle numbers then complaining about the driver is my forte. Very soon the TP or LTA will come and find you. You all still want your driving license then better F**king drive properly. Buay Ta Han you all you know...

What a joke

I was going about doing my daily routine when my friend told me this joke. It was a nice joke that almost left me with a tummy ache from all the laughing. Although it was just a joke, it left me pondering how large the extent of the manifestation of stupidity through a woman can be....................




This is a story about an Ah Lian and Ah Beng.....

One day, Ah Lian came back from shopping. Among all the stuff she bought, she decided to take out 'The Box'.....several moments later, she decided to call Ah Beng...


Ah Lian : Eh Ah Beng, you free bo?

Ah Beng : Simi La* J*ao?

Ah Lian : Help me, come.

Ah Beng : What help you c*m?...That one also need my help meh?

Ah Lian : F**k you lah...come my house lah!

Ah Beng : Come your house zuo simi la* j*ao?!?

Ah Lian : I just now buy one puzzle but don't know how to make lah.

Ah Beng : Simi puzzle?.....What picture one?

Ah Lian : Mm Zai lah...Just one big chicken lah.....All the pieces look like same one lei...come help me make the puzzle.

Ah Beng : Wah La* eh...you ga* bo liao leh...


After several minutes, Ah Beng reached Ah Lian's house. When Ah Beng saw what Ah Lian was doing, he could not believe his eyes.....


Ah Beng : Eh Ah Lian!...WTF you doing??!!??

Ah Lian : Nah...this one lah!...the puzzle lah so hard to make one.....

Ah Beng : Wah LA* EH!!.....Simi puzzle?!?...I pa..pa...pa your C***B** LAH!!!.....KNN put the Cornflakes back into the box lah!!!

Ah Lian : ...-.-...




...-.-...

Sian-diao Mad Rush Transit (SMRT)

Recently, I had a chance to take part in this exercise. Participants were given a chance to have a meaningful and memorable experience with Sian-diao Mad Rush Transit (SMRT). My friend, My Friend(MF), and I took part in it. True enough, the experience was really unforgettable....................


*Rumble* *Rumble*



Me : Eh which station we getting off arh?

MF : The next one loh.

Me : Wah, today like got a lot of people hor?

MF : Yah, don't know all come from where one.

Me : Yah, I also don't know lei..........suddenly feel like Singapore population very big sial.

MF : *silence*.....

Me : Eh go go...our station..


*After moments of pondering where those people in the same transit as us were from...we have reached our destination but the sight we saw....................we never wanted to see it again...*


MF : Wah La* Eh.....So many people outside there waiting to chiong us...

Me : Wah F**k lah...They confirm chop plus guarantee money back won't let us go out first one loh...they all also stand outside there sui sui liao loh...

MF : F**k care them lah...just push our way through...

Me : Confirm jia lat jia lat......


*As the doors open, those people gushed in like mad water. For a moment, I thought I was at Crazy Underwater World. As we waddled through them, they never stopped coming in. From the center of the doors, we were reduced to squeezing through from the side of the doors.*


Me : Eh jia lat man.....I think we Hollow Man leh transparent one.....they can't seem to see us lei......wtf...

MF : What to do..........here Singapore mah.




Lessons :
1. The Yellow boxes marked in front of the station doors are not designated smoking areas. They are spaces designated for you C**ks to stand inside so that you don't F**king block people like me who are coming out.

2. Passengers coming out from the trains have priority over you getting your Big Fat A** inside and onto that seat. Let them come out before you try to squeeze inside and do a reverse parking of your A**.

3. Even if you want to squeeze, don't KNN C***B** go and squeeze those people coming out to the side lah. At least let them pass through from the middle lah. Later they kena trapped in between the station and train doors then you go and save them is it? You think you what? Superman arh? Clark Kent arh? Here Singapore leh...not Smallville. Please lah..........but true lah...Singapore quite the small also..

O...What Bullshit

Love?


What is love.


Let me tell you a cock and bull story..........


Cock : Bull, I love you.

Bull : I think I have fallen in love with another, cock.

Cock : Who is that cock?!?

Bull : My 'kor'.

Cock : Huh?!?

Bull : My 'kor'.

Cock : Huh?!?...Your cock?!?

Bull : MY 'KOR' LAH YOU C***B**!

Cock : Oh...

Bull : Yah...I think..........Let's break-up..

Cock : You want to break-up with me because of your 'co..'...

Bull : 'KOR'...

Cock : Yah...

Bull : I'm sorry.

Cock : Sigh.....Alright.....I wish you all the best for you and your 'Cock' then...

Bull : Wa La* Eh.......'K'..'Kkk'...............KNN LAH...




Moral of the story :
Don't trust any guy your girlfriend calls 'kor'. You won't know when her 'kor' will become her 'cock'.

Emotions

子非鱼 焉知鱼之乐

你非我 何知我之苦

我非你 怎知你之心

你不在 给谁我之爱